The Only Thing There Is to Want

A Memoir of Three Loves

Read by Sarah Hepola
Audiobook Download
$22.00 US
Audio | Random House Audio
On sale Sep 29, 2026 | 10 Hours and 0 Minutes | 9798217404926
Sales rights: US, Canada, Open Mkt

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The New York Times bestselling author of Blackout excavates the romantic entanglements that defined her adulthood—an electrifying and unflinching account of the ways we choose love, it chooses us, and how those choices build a life.

“I’m scared I only want what I can’t have,” I said.
“Oh baby,” he said. “It’s the only thing there is to want.”

Sarah Hepola wanted so much: a big career; travel and adventure; deep relationships; passion. Having realized so many of those desires, she also grieved the ways her life was not what she’d always imagined it would be. Did I want too much, she wondered. Did I make the wrong choices? Love the wrong people?

In The Only Thing There Is To Want, Hepola revisits three complicated love affairs from her past, seeking to understand how they might have kept her from the life she’d envisioned, but also made her who she is. Examining her own decisions, Hepola probes the question: Is love ever really a choice?

This dazzling portrait of the mirages of modern romance captures the paradox of desire: wanting propels us forward and holds us back. Funny, achingly tender, and fearlessly intimate, The Only Thing There Is to Want is about discovering the beauty in the life you’ve built.
The Only Thing There is to Want is Sarah Hepola’s courageous and compelling exploration of the gap between the life we imagine and the life we create—a life shaped by loves given and taken away. Hepola’s profound insights and masterful storytelling reveal how our most complicated relationships often pave the path to self-understanding.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

“[Sarah] Hepola’s prose consistently spins ordinary circumstances into gold; every interaction is scintillating, every scrap of dialogue witty. This bittersweet account offers a tart and intelligent assessment of the tussle to find lasting love.”Publishers Weekly, starred review

“A dazzling, insightful, original, and hilarious memoir . . . Readers will have their hearts broken alongside Hepola, and they will grow hoarse cheering for her satisfaction and liberation. Best of all, they will revel in her singular voice and hard-won wisdom as she proves that, when it comes to memoir, sheʼs one of the best to ever do it.”—Christie Tate, New York Times bestselling author of Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life

“Sarah Hepola writes with so much heat about the pull toward a turn-your-soul-inside-out closeness. The Only Thing There Is to Want is a demonstration of her seductive powers: Her writing is magnetic, incandescent, and gripping.”—Susan Burton, author of Empty

This is a love letter to the girls we used to be, the women we became, and the messy middle of everything in between. Imagine if Girls and Fleabag had a baby. That’s the kind of grit, humor, nostalgia, and darkness you’ll find in these pages.”—Ruthie Ackerman, author of The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us

“Sarah Hepolaʼs witty, candid, and gripping portrait of modern love plumbs the depths of desire, heartbreak, and a form of grief we don’t often name—capturing something essential about the search for connection in our disjointed age.”—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can't Sleep and Crush

“In this candid, witty, and reflective memoir, Hepola reminds us that while some relationships come and go, the best love stories are the ones that exist in our life all along. A beautiful and heartfelt read!”—Kerry Docherty, author of Selfish

About

The New York Times bestselling author of Blackout excavates the romantic entanglements that defined her adulthood—an electrifying and unflinching account of the ways we choose love, it chooses us, and how those choices build a life.

“I’m scared I only want what I can’t have,” I said.
“Oh baby,” he said. “It’s the only thing there is to want.”

Sarah Hepola wanted so much: a big career; travel and adventure; deep relationships; passion. Having realized so many of those desires, she also grieved the ways her life was not what she’d always imagined it would be. Did I want too much, she wondered. Did I make the wrong choices? Love the wrong people?

In The Only Thing There Is To Want, Hepola revisits three complicated love affairs from her past, seeking to understand how they might have kept her from the life she’d envisioned, but also made her who she is. Examining her own decisions, Hepola probes the question: Is love ever really a choice?

This dazzling portrait of the mirages of modern romance captures the paradox of desire: wanting propels us forward and holds us back. Funny, achingly tender, and fearlessly intimate, The Only Thing There Is to Want is about discovering the beauty in the life you’ve built.

Praise

The Only Thing There is to Want is Sarah Hepola’s courageous and compelling exploration of the gap between the life we imagine and the life we create—a life shaped by loves given and taken away. Hepola’s profound insights and masterful storytelling reveal how our most complicated relationships often pave the path to self-understanding.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

“[Sarah] Hepola’s prose consistently spins ordinary circumstances into gold; every interaction is scintillating, every scrap of dialogue witty. This bittersweet account offers a tart and intelligent assessment of the tussle to find lasting love.”Publishers Weekly, starred review

“A dazzling, insightful, original, and hilarious memoir . . . Readers will have their hearts broken alongside Hepola, and they will grow hoarse cheering for her satisfaction and liberation. Best of all, they will revel in her singular voice and hard-won wisdom as she proves that, when it comes to memoir, sheʼs one of the best to ever do it.”—Christie Tate, New York Times bestselling author of Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life

“Sarah Hepola writes with so much heat about the pull toward a turn-your-soul-inside-out closeness. The Only Thing There Is to Want is a demonstration of her seductive powers: Her writing is magnetic, incandescent, and gripping.”—Susan Burton, author of Empty

This is a love letter to the girls we used to be, the women we became, and the messy middle of everything in between. Imagine if Girls and Fleabag had a baby. That’s the kind of grit, humor, nostalgia, and darkness you’ll find in these pages.”—Ruthie Ackerman, author of The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us

“Sarah Hepolaʼs witty, candid, and gripping portrait of modern love plumbs the depths of desire, heartbreak, and a form of grief we don’t often name—capturing something essential about the search for connection in our disjointed age.”—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can't Sleep and Crush

“In this candid, witty, and reflective memoir, Hepola reminds us that while some relationships come and go, the best love stories are the ones that exist in our life all along. A beautiful and heartfelt read!”—Kerry Docherty, author of Selfish