The New York Times bestselling author of Blackout excavates the romantic entanglements that defined her adulthood—an electrifying and unflinching account of the ways we choose love, it chooses us, and how those choices build a life.
“I’m scared I only want what I can’t have,” I said. “Oh baby,” he said. “It’s the only thing there is to want.”
Sarah Hepola wanted so much: a big career; travel and adventure; deep relationships; passion. Having realized so many of those desires, she also grieved the ways her life was not what she’d always imagined it would be. Did I want too much, she wondered. Did I make the wrong choices? Love the wrong people?
In The Only Thing There Is To Want, Hepola revisits three complicated love affairs from her past, seeking to understand how they might have kept her from the life she’d envisioned, but also made her who she is. Examining her own decisions, Hepola probes the question: Is love ever really a choice?
This dazzling portrait of the mirages of modern romance captures the paradox of desire: wanting propels us forward and holds us back. Funny, achingly tender, and fearlessly intimate, The Only Thing There Is to Want is about discovering the beauty in the life you’ve built.
“Sarah Hepola’s witty, candid, and gripping portrait of modern love plumbs the depths of desire, heartbreak, and a form of grief we don’t often name—capturing something essential about the search for connection in our disjointed age. The Only Thing There Is to Want reckons with the gift and curse of dating as a Gen X woman—raised to believe anything was possible, and finding that what she wants most remains just out of reach.”—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can’t Sleep and Crush
“The Only Thing There is to Want is a love letter to the girls we used to be, the women we became and the messy middle of everything in between. Imagine if Girls and Fleabag had a baby. That’s the kind of grit, humor, nostalgia and darkness you’ll find in these pages. For those who really want to know what it was like in the 90s (and beyond), there’s no better guide than Hepola.”—Ruthie Ackerman, author of The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us
“In this candid, witty, and reflective memoir, Hepola reminds us that while some relationships come and go, the best love stories are the ones that exist in our life all along. A beautiful and heartfelt read!”—Kerry Docherty, author of Selfish
“Sarah Hepola writes with so much heat about the pull toward a turn-your-soul-inside-out closeness. She examines not just who she is, but who she is with others. There’s enormous vulnerability in these portraits: Allowing readers to see who we are in relationship is maybe even riskier than allowing them to see who we are alone. The Only Thing There Is to Want is a demonstration of Hepola’s seductive powers: Her writing is magnetic, incandescent, and gripping. The Only Thing There Is to Want is a balm for all of us who are waking up and asking ourselves, how did I get here? Why didn’t I do the things I thought I would have by now? Hepola’s sense of wonder lifts us up—and that just may be the most important lesson of all.”—Susan Burton, author of Empty
The New York Times bestselling author of Blackout excavates the romantic entanglements that defined her adulthood—an electrifying and unflinching account of the ways we choose love, it chooses us, and how those choices build a life.
“I’m scared I only want what I can’t have,” I said. “Oh baby,” he said. “It’s the only thing there is to want.”
Sarah Hepola wanted so much: a big career; travel and adventure; deep relationships; passion. Having realized so many of those desires, she also grieved the ways her life was not what she’d always imagined it would be. Did I want too much, she wondered. Did I make the wrong choices? Love the wrong people?
In The Only Thing There Is To Want, Hepola revisits three complicated love affairs from her past, seeking to understand how they might have kept her from the life she’d envisioned, but also made her who she is. Examining her own decisions, Hepola probes the question: Is love ever really a choice?
This dazzling portrait of the mirages of modern romance captures the paradox of desire: wanting propels us forward and holds us back. Funny, achingly tender, and fearlessly intimate, The Only Thing There Is to Want is about discovering the beauty in the life you’ve built.
Praise
“Sarah Hepola’s witty, candid, and gripping portrait of modern love plumbs the depths of desire, heartbreak, and a form of grief we don’t often name—capturing something essential about the search for connection in our disjointed age. The Only Thing There Is to Want reckons with the gift and curse of dating as a Gen X woman—raised to believe anything was possible, and finding that what she wants most remains just out of reach.”—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can’t Sleep and Crush
“The Only Thing There is to Want is a love letter to the girls we used to be, the women we became and the messy middle of everything in between. Imagine if Girls and Fleabag had a baby. That’s the kind of grit, humor, nostalgia and darkness you’ll find in these pages. For those who really want to know what it was like in the 90s (and beyond), there’s no better guide than Hepola.”—Ruthie Ackerman, author of The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us
“In this candid, witty, and reflective memoir, Hepola reminds us that while some relationships come and go, the best love stories are the ones that exist in our life all along. A beautiful and heartfelt read!”—Kerry Docherty, author of Selfish
“Sarah Hepola writes with so much heat about the pull toward a turn-your-soul-inside-out closeness. She examines not just who she is, but who she is with others. There’s enormous vulnerability in these portraits: Allowing readers to see who we are in relationship is maybe even riskier than allowing them to see who we are alone. The Only Thing There Is to Want is a demonstration of Hepola’s seductive powers: Her writing is magnetic, incandescent, and gripping. The Only Thing There Is to Want is a balm for all of us who are waking up and asking ourselves, how did I get here? Why didn’t I do the things I thought I would have by now? Hepola’s sense of wonder lifts us up—and that just may be the most important lesson of all.”—Susan Burton, author of Empty
