Aaac·cus·tom (e-kes´-tem), n. and v. to have verbally abused more than one person with profanity. “Them kids kept swearin’ around Mamaw, so accustom out.”
ad·e·quate (a´-de-kwit), n. and v. to have acted with the intention of terminating one’s condition of employment. “Adequate if they hadn’t given me a raise.”
Af·ghan·i·stan (af-gan´-is-stan), n. and v. to declare that a certain living organism of Afghani origin has the name Stanley. “The Dalmatian’s called Jerry, but the Afghanistan.”
Bbban·dit (band´-et), v. and n. censured or forbidden, by decree. “We can’t dance no more, ’cause after the preacher saw Footloose, he bandit.”
bar·gain (bär´-gen), n. and adv. pertaining to a return to a tavern. “I’m still thirsty, so whaddya say we go hit that bargain.”
bas·tards (bas´-terds), n. the fecal excretions of any animal of the Centrarchidae, Serranidae, or Percichthyidae families. “I’ll bet you’ll catch a bunch where all them black specks is floatin’, ’cause them black specks is bastards.”
CcCae·sar (se¯z´-er), v. and n. to visually perceive a female. “He has a seizure every time he Caesar.”
Can·a·da (kan´-e-de), n. and prep. a metal container with specific contents. “Do me a big favor, bud, and hand me a Canada bug spray.”
can·cel (kant´-sel), v. the inability to exchange property for money. “If you cancel that hunk of crap, I’ll take it off your hands.”
DdDa·ko·ta (de-ko¯´-te), n. and v. a prediction concerning an outer garment worn on the torso. “It’s ten below, man. Dakota keep you warm.”
da·ta (da¯t´-e), v. and adj. to undertake an event of social interaction, usually with the purpose of romance. “I’d never data rich girl.”
de·men·tia (dim-ent´-she), n. and v. interrogative concerning one’s reaction to, or connection with, more than one person. “You lookin’ at dementia?”
Eeeasy·go·ing (e¯-ze¯-go¯´-ing), v. and n. interrogative regarding the future movements or trajectory of a male. “Easygoing to relax or not?”
Egypt (e¯´-jipt), n. and v. to have been cheated or swindled by a male. “Aw, man, Egypt me!”
em·bit·ter (im-bi´-ter), n. and adj. when a male feels resentful, angry, vengeful, and soured. “His divorce just left embitter.”
Fffairy (fer´-e¯), adj. and n. a description for a male person of light complexion and pigmentation. “Jim’s so fairy gets sunburned as soon as he goes outside.”
feed (fe¯d´), conj. and n. the conditional desire for a male to act. “I’d kick his butt, feed just step outside.”
fil·i·greed (fil-e-gre¯d´), n. and v. consent and acceptance, by a person named Phillip. “I said we should kick him out of the club, and filigreed.”
Gggal·lon (gal´-en), n. and prep. a reference to the location of a female person. “The one with the jug is ugly, but that gallon the horse ain’t too bad.”
gar·den (gärd´-in), n. and adv. the bringing forth of a militia armed for the purposes of maintaining or restoring order. “That riot was so bad they had to call the National garden.”
Geor·gia (joÙrj´-e), n. and adj. a phrase connecting a person named George to a direct object. “Dick Cheney shot him, but I’m sure they’re gonna give old Georgia hard time about it.”
Copyright © 2006 by Jeff Foxworthy. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
