Preface
Perhaps you find the title of this book puzzling. Why on earth would anyone want to stink at his or her job? Think about it: We all stink at something, and I would much rather it be my job than sports or sex.
The opposite of stinking at your job is being really good at it, and that is where the trouble begins. Being really good at your job probably means you’ll be promoted, which means increased responsibility. Are you going to let a bigger salary bribe you into being responsible?
I didn’t think so!
Besides, increased responsibility means longer hours. Shouldn’t you want to work less? Isn’t that what life is all about? After all, nobody on their deathbed says, “I wish I had spentmore time at the office.”
Holding an important job means being accountable to management and possibly even stockholders. Who can have any fun with that kind of anvil hanging over your head?
If you follow our simple guidelines, you will probably never make very much money and you’ll greatly disappoint your parents and spouse, but you’ll also eliminate a ton of workrelated stress, which means you’ll live a very long time without very much money. The semi-rotten apple is yours for the taking.
The Job Interview
Before you can stink at your job, you have to secure a job. This process usually begins with the job interview. This is very important! Try to appear as normal and grounded as possible, at least for the interview. Smile a lot. You’re trying to sell a product. As you prepare your résumé, let the sky be the limit. Why waste years and a fortune actually getting a PhD at Harvard when you can just
say you did? Employers like to hire people who have experience in their chosen field, so tell them what they want to hear.
Just get the job. To make yourself even more attractive as a potential employee, it is wise to “spice up” the personal/special skills part of your résumé.
Claim to have served in the Peace Corps, say you can drive an excavator and, incidentally, that you climbed Mount Kilimanjaro (twice). . . . Sounds good, right? Very impressive?
Don’t stop now–you’re on a roll!
Tell them you have a black belt, play classical violin, and can speak
four languages. Name it and claim it! They will be excited about having you on board . . . for now.
TIP: Do a good job of selling yourself, but try not to go too far. Telling the company that if they don’t hire you they’re stupid may backfire.
Copyright © 2009 by Jeff Foxworthy. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
