We Were Made for These Times

Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption

Look inside
In ten concise chapters, you'll learn powerful ways to meet life's challenges with wisdom, resilience, and ease.

We all go through times when it feels like the ground is being pulled out from under us. What we relied on as steady and solid may change or even appear to vanish. In this era of global disruption, threats to our individual, social, and planetary safety abound, and at times life can feel overwhelming. Not only are loss and separation painful, but even positive changes can cause great stress. 

Yet life is full of change: birth, death, marriage, divorce; a new relationship; losing or starting a job; beginning a new phase in life or ending one. Change is stressful, even when it is much desired or anticipated—the unknown can feel scary and threatening. In We Were Made for These Times, the extraordinary mindfulness teacher Kaira Jewel Lingo imparts accessible advice on navigating difficult times of transition, drawing on Buddhist teachings on impermanence to help you establish equanimity and resilience. 
 
Each chapter in We Were Made for These Times holds an essential teaching and meditation, unfolding a step-by-step process to nurture deeper freedom and stability in daily life. Time-honored teachings will help you develop ease, presence, and self-compassion, supporting you to release the fear and doubt that hold you back. 
All of us go through times of transition, challenges, and difficulties. We may have faced or will face times of loss, confusion, or heartbreak, when we realize we cannot control the way our life is unfolding, whether in our personal lives or in the world around us. With mindfulness, we can learn to move through these intense, challenging times in ways that don’t add to the suffering and difficulty that are already there. We can even learn to open our hearts to the richness and wisdom these times of immense disruption can bring us. 

A key step that can help us begin to settle ourselves when we are profoundly unsettled is to come home, to ourselves, in this moment, whatever is happening. This is one way of speaking about mindfulness, or being present: coming home to ourselves. When we bring our mind back to our body we come home. We could consider this state as our true home. This home inside of us is a home no one can take away from us, and it cannot be damaged or destroyed. No matter what happens around us, if we can find this home inside of us, we are always safe. 

When we touch this experience of coming home, it is like we have finally arrived home after a long journey. We experience a sense of peace and even freedom, no matter how confining the outer circumstances. Coming home to ourselves feels like belonging; it is a state that holds us and enables us to hold others. 

This is so important because we can live our whole lives estranged from this home within ourselves. 

My teacher Thay sums up his whole lifetime of teachings with one sentence: “I have arrived, I am home.” For him, the principal aim of mindfulness prac-tice is to experience that we have already arrived, here and now. There is nowhere we need to run to or be, other than right here in the present moment. And we experience ourselves at home, no longer looking for some refuge outside of us, in some other place or time, when we touch the truth that all that we long for and search after is here inside of us.

We can experience encountering this spacious and free place of our true home in unexpected moments as we spend more time tuning in to what is happening inside us and around us. 

One morning when I was a novice nun, in slow walking after sitting meditation, I became very present and aware of every step. I began by being aware that as I was stepping with my left foot, I was at the same time step-ping with my right, because my left foot could not be without my right. And vice versa. Then I saw that my arms were also contained in my feet, so I was also step-ping with my arms. Then my hands, my stomach, brain, sense organs, heart, lungs. I was 100 percent with my body. I was tasting the earth with my feet, listening to it, looking at it, feeling it, knowing it, smelling it with my feet. My heart was loving it, my lungs breathing it in and out.

Then I turned my attention more towards the Earth and knew I was also walking on cool streams of water flowing under me, and hot, fiery liquid deep below, in the center of the Earth. I imagined walking on the feet of those directly opposite us on the other side of the planet. The soles of my feet touched the soles of a little baby taking tentative steps, and a pregnant woman, and an old grandpa. My feet touched the feet of a lonely iso-lated person, and someone carried away by hatred and anger. I was also walking on the feet of someone who was right then doing walking meditation and enjoying the present moment. I was one with those walking the Earth whose hearts were filled with love and peace.

If we’re not aware of what is happening in the moment because we are caught up in our thoughts or reveries, or in the grip of worry or other strong emotions, it’s as if we have left our house. If we stay away for a long time, dust accumulates and unwanted visitors may take up residence in our home. Things like stress and tension accumulate in our bodies and minds, and over time, if we don’t tend to them, they can lead to physical or psychological illness. 

But the beauty of awareness is that we can always return home to ourselves. Our home is always there, waiting for us to come back. There are numerous ways we can go home to ourselves: by being aware of our breath, by being aware of body sensations or bodily movements, and by connecting with the reality around us, like the sounds in our environment. And when we come back home in these ways, we are able to take stock and survey the territory of our being, seeing clearly what parts of our inner landscape need more support, where we need to pay more attention. 

It is especially tempting in times of transition and challenge to abandon our homes, to leave our territory, in search of answers, perhaps by worrying about what will happen in the future. This is precisely the moment when we need to return to the present moment, feel our bodies, and take good care of ourselves now. Because the future is made of this moment. If we take good care of this moment, even if it is very difficult, we are taking good care of the future.

It may also be hard to come home if we sense that unresolved pain has accumulated and we don’t want to face it. We may get into the habit of avoiding our home completely. We don’t want to be with those raw, unprocessed parts of our experience that are painful and may be quite scary. 

If this is our situation, it is important to have compassion for ourselves for not wanting to return home to face these difficulties inside of us. And yet the only way we can heal them, move through them, and make our home a more cozy place is to turn towards them. As the teaching goes: “The only way out is in.” Or through.

The practices we will learn in this book will help us to have the courage to go back and put our house in order, and give us the tools to do so, so we can slowly learn to enjoy being back in our true home.
“Times of darkness hold the power and potential for deep transformation. Kaira Jewel Lingo is a wise and inspiring guide in navigating the challenges of our times with courage, equanimity, and compassion. She shares timeless teachings and practices that reveal our belonging and free our hearts.”—Tara Brach, author of Trusting the Gold

“A treasure trove of loving and practical meditation advice about how we can navigate through difficult times and challenging transitions with our heart and mind intact.… This book is uniquely tailored to our times, right up to this present moment. A gem of a work!”—Jan Willis, author of Dreaming Me

“A most beautiful weaving of the many Wisdom threads in Buddhist practice to create a sacred mantle of Freedom for us all.”—Larry Yang, author of Awakening Together

“Kaira Jewel Lingo is one of the most authentic Dharma teachers of our generation. Her decades of committed and genuine practice have yielded a book that speaks to what so many of us are longing for—a path of guidance through some of the most difficult experiences of our lives.”—Lama Rod Owens, author of Love and Rage
 
“I love this book! Simple yet profound, heartfelt and insightful, far-reaching and practical. Kaira Jewel Lingo draws on her years as a nun with Thich Nhat Hanh to offer the ideas, tools, and experiential practices we need to weather topsy-turvy times.”—Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Neurodharma
 
“From a jewel of a teacher, a simple and clear way to access your own heart and wisdom. Anyone seeking answers will find relief in the pages of this book.”—Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, author of The Deepest Peace
 
“A brilliant map for the real and deep journey of these times. This is medicine we need right now.”—Larry Ward, PhD, author of America’s Racial Karma
 
We Were Made for These Times reads like a poem. Kaira Jewel Lingo offers inspiring and accessible guidance for experiencing the nearness of freedom despite our circumstances. A timely and timeless read for all.”—Ruth King, author of Mindful of Race

“In a minimum of words and with a maximum of insight and plenty of useful practices, the author gifts us with wisdom from her and Thich Nhat Hanh's rich lineage. This hopeful book brings light to our times so darkened by the shadows of ecocide, racism, patriarchy, illusion, and despair. Kaira Jewel Lingo’s story alone offers great hope, for it demonstrates how a new generation is rising.”—Matthew Fox, author of Original Blessing
 
“In this intimate, courageous account of her own journey, Kaira Jewel Lingo offers all of us an inspiring example of how these ancient teachings can be a guide, an inspiration, and a resource in trying times. Whether the challenges we face are on the personal or collective level, this little book offers powerful, clear and concise wisdom for modern times.”—Oren Jay Sofer, author of Say What You Mean

"One of the most experienced Zen teachers resident in the United States … discerning and nurturing growth is Kaira Jewel’s gift. We recommend her book for people of any religious background, or none."Spirituality and Health

About

In ten concise chapters, you'll learn powerful ways to meet life's challenges with wisdom, resilience, and ease.

We all go through times when it feels like the ground is being pulled out from under us. What we relied on as steady and solid may change or even appear to vanish. In this era of global disruption, threats to our individual, social, and planetary safety abound, and at times life can feel overwhelming. Not only are loss and separation painful, but even positive changes can cause great stress. 

Yet life is full of change: birth, death, marriage, divorce; a new relationship; losing or starting a job; beginning a new phase in life or ending one. Change is stressful, even when it is much desired or anticipated—the unknown can feel scary and threatening. In We Were Made for These Times, the extraordinary mindfulness teacher Kaira Jewel Lingo imparts accessible advice on navigating difficult times of transition, drawing on Buddhist teachings on impermanence to help you establish equanimity and resilience. 
 
Each chapter in We Were Made for These Times holds an essential teaching and meditation, unfolding a step-by-step process to nurture deeper freedom and stability in daily life. Time-honored teachings will help you develop ease, presence, and self-compassion, supporting you to release the fear and doubt that hold you back. 

Excerpt

All of us go through times of transition, challenges, and difficulties. We may have faced or will face times of loss, confusion, or heartbreak, when we realize we cannot control the way our life is unfolding, whether in our personal lives or in the world around us. With mindfulness, we can learn to move through these intense, challenging times in ways that don’t add to the suffering and difficulty that are already there. We can even learn to open our hearts to the richness and wisdom these times of immense disruption can bring us. 

A key step that can help us begin to settle ourselves when we are profoundly unsettled is to come home, to ourselves, in this moment, whatever is happening. This is one way of speaking about mindfulness, or being present: coming home to ourselves. When we bring our mind back to our body we come home. We could consider this state as our true home. This home inside of us is a home no one can take away from us, and it cannot be damaged or destroyed. No matter what happens around us, if we can find this home inside of us, we are always safe. 

When we touch this experience of coming home, it is like we have finally arrived home after a long journey. We experience a sense of peace and even freedom, no matter how confining the outer circumstances. Coming home to ourselves feels like belonging; it is a state that holds us and enables us to hold others. 

This is so important because we can live our whole lives estranged from this home within ourselves. 

My teacher Thay sums up his whole lifetime of teachings with one sentence: “I have arrived, I am home.” For him, the principal aim of mindfulness prac-tice is to experience that we have already arrived, here and now. There is nowhere we need to run to or be, other than right here in the present moment. And we experience ourselves at home, no longer looking for some refuge outside of us, in some other place or time, when we touch the truth that all that we long for and search after is here inside of us.

We can experience encountering this spacious and free place of our true home in unexpected moments as we spend more time tuning in to what is happening inside us and around us. 

One morning when I was a novice nun, in slow walking after sitting meditation, I became very present and aware of every step. I began by being aware that as I was stepping with my left foot, I was at the same time step-ping with my right, because my left foot could not be without my right. And vice versa. Then I saw that my arms were also contained in my feet, so I was also step-ping with my arms. Then my hands, my stomach, brain, sense organs, heart, lungs. I was 100 percent with my body. I was tasting the earth with my feet, listening to it, looking at it, feeling it, knowing it, smelling it with my feet. My heart was loving it, my lungs breathing it in and out.

Then I turned my attention more towards the Earth and knew I was also walking on cool streams of water flowing under me, and hot, fiery liquid deep below, in the center of the Earth. I imagined walking on the feet of those directly opposite us on the other side of the planet. The soles of my feet touched the soles of a little baby taking tentative steps, and a pregnant woman, and an old grandpa. My feet touched the feet of a lonely iso-lated person, and someone carried away by hatred and anger. I was also walking on the feet of someone who was right then doing walking meditation and enjoying the present moment. I was one with those walking the Earth whose hearts were filled with love and peace.

If we’re not aware of what is happening in the moment because we are caught up in our thoughts or reveries, or in the grip of worry or other strong emotions, it’s as if we have left our house. If we stay away for a long time, dust accumulates and unwanted visitors may take up residence in our home. Things like stress and tension accumulate in our bodies and minds, and over time, if we don’t tend to them, they can lead to physical or psychological illness. 

But the beauty of awareness is that we can always return home to ourselves. Our home is always there, waiting for us to come back. There are numerous ways we can go home to ourselves: by being aware of our breath, by being aware of body sensations or bodily movements, and by connecting with the reality around us, like the sounds in our environment. And when we come back home in these ways, we are able to take stock and survey the territory of our being, seeing clearly what parts of our inner landscape need more support, where we need to pay more attention. 

It is especially tempting in times of transition and challenge to abandon our homes, to leave our territory, in search of answers, perhaps by worrying about what will happen in the future. This is precisely the moment when we need to return to the present moment, feel our bodies, and take good care of ourselves now. Because the future is made of this moment. If we take good care of this moment, even if it is very difficult, we are taking good care of the future.

It may also be hard to come home if we sense that unresolved pain has accumulated and we don’t want to face it. We may get into the habit of avoiding our home completely. We don’t want to be with those raw, unprocessed parts of our experience that are painful and may be quite scary. 

If this is our situation, it is important to have compassion for ourselves for not wanting to return home to face these difficulties inside of us. And yet the only way we can heal them, move through them, and make our home a more cozy place is to turn towards them. As the teaching goes: “The only way out is in.” Or through.

The practices we will learn in this book will help us to have the courage to go back and put our house in order, and give us the tools to do so, so we can slowly learn to enjoy being back in our true home.

Praise

“Times of darkness hold the power and potential for deep transformation. Kaira Jewel Lingo is a wise and inspiring guide in navigating the challenges of our times with courage, equanimity, and compassion. She shares timeless teachings and practices that reveal our belonging and free our hearts.”—Tara Brach, author of Trusting the Gold

“A treasure trove of loving and practical meditation advice about how we can navigate through difficult times and challenging transitions with our heart and mind intact.… This book is uniquely tailored to our times, right up to this present moment. A gem of a work!”—Jan Willis, author of Dreaming Me

“A most beautiful weaving of the many Wisdom threads in Buddhist practice to create a sacred mantle of Freedom for us all.”—Larry Yang, author of Awakening Together

“Kaira Jewel Lingo is one of the most authentic Dharma teachers of our generation. Her decades of committed and genuine practice have yielded a book that speaks to what so many of us are longing for—a path of guidance through some of the most difficult experiences of our lives.”—Lama Rod Owens, author of Love and Rage
 
“I love this book! Simple yet profound, heartfelt and insightful, far-reaching and practical. Kaira Jewel Lingo draws on her years as a nun with Thich Nhat Hanh to offer the ideas, tools, and experiential practices we need to weather topsy-turvy times.”—Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Neurodharma
 
“From a jewel of a teacher, a simple and clear way to access your own heart and wisdom. Anyone seeking answers will find relief in the pages of this book.”—Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, author of The Deepest Peace
 
“A brilliant map for the real and deep journey of these times. This is medicine we need right now.”—Larry Ward, PhD, author of America’s Racial Karma
 
We Were Made for These Times reads like a poem. Kaira Jewel Lingo offers inspiring and accessible guidance for experiencing the nearness of freedom despite our circumstances. A timely and timeless read for all.”—Ruth King, author of Mindful of Race

“In a minimum of words and with a maximum of insight and plenty of useful practices, the author gifts us with wisdom from her and Thich Nhat Hanh's rich lineage. This hopeful book brings light to our times so darkened by the shadows of ecocide, racism, patriarchy, illusion, and despair. Kaira Jewel Lingo’s story alone offers great hope, for it demonstrates how a new generation is rising.”—Matthew Fox, author of Original Blessing
 
“In this intimate, courageous account of her own journey, Kaira Jewel Lingo offers all of us an inspiring example of how these ancient teachings can be a guide, an inspiration, and a resource in trying times. Whether the challenges we face are on the personal or collective level, this little book offers powerful, clear and concise wisdom for modern times.”—Oren Jay Sofer, author of Say What You Mean

"One of the most experienced Zen teachers resident in the United States … discerning and nurturing growth is Kaira Jewel’s gift. We recommend her book for people of any religious background, or none."Spirituality and Health