I Am Not a Vampire (Anymore)

$23.00 US
Audio | Listening Library
On sale Jun 09, 2026 | 8 Hours and 0 Minutes | 9798217295128
Age 14 and up
Sales rights: World

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Being a teenager bites—literally. When a classmate develops a thirst for blood, one girl must confront her secret supernatural past before things turn deadly. Fans counting down the days to the Buffy the Vampire reboot will sink their teeth into this dark and hilarious YA debut.

Her past is back for blood.

My goals for senior year were simple:
  • Find a prom dress I don’t hate
  • Spend as much time as possible with my amazing boyfriend Max (and my even more amazing best friend Sarita)
  • Maybe try not to flunk history class

My plans did NOT include:
  • Babysitting a newborn vampire—who also happens to be Max’s annoying (and annoyingly cute) buddy Ezra
  • Fighting off my ex-boyfriend—who did I mention is immortal?
  • And generally worrying about death and blood and mayhem

Turning human was supposed to mean finally getting a second chance at a normal life. But ever since moving to Sunrise Harbor, Florida, nothing has been normal. What’s worse is I actually made friends here. And when my dark past threatens to take it all away, well, being mortal totally sucks.

Award-winning author Darcy Miller makes her YA debut in this wise-cracking and witty entry that brings new blood to your favorite vampire tropes.

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Being a teenager bites—literally. When a classmate develops a thirst for blood, one girl must confront her secret supernatural past before things turn deadly. Fans counting down the days to the Buffy the Vampire reboot will sink their teeth into this dark and hilarious YA debut.

Her past is back for blood.

My goals for senior year were simple:
  • Find a prom dress I don’t hate
  • Spend as much time as possible with my amazing boyfriend Max (and my even more amazing best friend Sarita)
  • Maybe try not to flunk history class

My plans did NOT include:
  • Babysitting a newborn vampire—who also happens to be Max’s annoying (and annoyingly cute) buddy Ezra
  • Fighting off my ex-boyfriend—who did I mention is immortal?
  • And generally worrying about death and blood and mayhem

Turning human was supposed to mean finally getting a second chance at a normal life. But ever since moving to Sunrise Harbor, Florida, nothing has been normal. What’s worse is I actually made friends here. And when my dark past threatens to take it all away, well, being mortal totally sucks.

Award-winning author Darcy Miller makes her YA debut in this wise-cracking and witty entry that brings new blood to your favorite vampire tropes.