What if there was a way to instantly see your reality with the clarity of a coach – unencumbered by the baggage of you being you?
In Distancing, bestselling author and former submarine captain David Marquet (Turn the Ship Around!) and psychology professor Michael Gillespie introduce a powerful solution: distancing. This simple but underused superpower lets us step outside ourselves to see with clarity and decide with wisdom.
Through three practices—Be Someone Else, Be Somewhere Else, Be Sometime Else—we adopt the perspective of a coach, view our situation from afar, or become our wiser future self. Each unlocks instant insight, reduces anxiety, and improves judgment.
Blending science, stories, and practical tools, Distancing equips us to rise above ego and emotion, cut through bias, and make choices we’ll be proud of—in leadership, in life, and for the long term.
"[A] cogent survey...includ[ing] plenty of helpful exercises and reflection questions. Readers looking for a new approach to decision-making will be challenged and inspired." —Publishers Weekly
“We all struggle with the ability to extract ourselves from the immediacy of the moment, to think clearly and objectively, when we become overwhelmed. Distancing provides readers with a tactical, science-based blueprint for managing these situations. Clearly written and deeply researched, it’s a tour de force.” — Ethan Kross, bestselling author of Shift and Chatter
“Distancing promises an approach that transforms the navigation of both professional challenges and personal dilemmas. Learning to gain distance from yourself is the ultimate cognitive hack: the ability to outsmart your own biases and make decisions that truly align with your long-term goals. These psychological techniques aren’t just theoretical—they’re a radical tool for personal reinvention.” — Annie Duke, bestselling author of Thinking in Bets and Quit
“How might stepping outside the 'here and now' help us thrive—in work and in life? Distancing is as engaging as it is practical: a must-read for anyone who wants to make a difference but is tired of being told to simply 'stay present.' Gillespie and Marquet unpack the science and offer concrete, actionable tools to help us use psychological distance to become better, wiser versions of ourselves. — Hal Hershfield, bestselling author of Your Future Self
“Distancing makes so much sense—it should be required reading for earthlings. The stories are page-turners, the science is dazzling, and the advice comes in plain English. Want to level up your life by making smarter decisions? Start with this book.” — Lynn Sherr, ABC News correspondent and bestselling author
“The best leaders don’t just react—they step back, gain perspective, and make better decisions. Distancing unlocks that hidden ability in all of us. If you want to make better decisions, you need to read this book.” — Verne Harnish, founder of Entrepreneurs’ Organization and author of Start to Scale
“Just because you are promoted to captain with four golden stripes doesn’t mean you know it all. Distancing gives you the ability to clearly see your mistakes, allowing for the opportunity to improve your plan and strategy for next time. Distancing has given me a lot of insights; it is a great read for anyone in a leadership role.” — Hans Hederström, former managing director of CSMART
“Why do bridge teams equipped with the necessary information still make bad decisions? This book answers that question and tells us what we can do about it— for ourselves and for our teams.” — John A. Konrad V., founder of gCaptain
What if there was a way to instantly see your reality with the clarity of a coach – unencumbered by the baggage of you being you?
In Distancing, bestselling author and former submarine captain David Marquet (Turn the Ship Around!) and psychology professor Michael Gillespie introduce a powerful solution: distancing. This simple but underused superpower lets us step outside ourselves to see with clarity and decide with wisdom.
Through three practices—Be Someone Else, Be Somewhere Else, Be Sometime Else—we adopt the perspective of a coach, view our situation from afar, or become our wiser future self. Each unlocks instant insight, reduces anxiety, and improves judgment.
Blending science, stories, and practical tools, Distancing equips us to rise above ego and emotion, cut through bias, and make choices we’ll be proud of—in leadership, in life, and for the long term.
Praise
"[A] cogent survey...includ[ing] plenty of helpful exercises and reflection questions. Readers looking for a new approach to decision-making will be challenged and inspired." —Publishers Weekly
“We all struggle with the ability to extract ourselves from the immediacy of the moment, to think clearly and objectively, when we become overwhelmed. Distancing provides readers with a tactical, science-based blueprint for managing these situations. Clearly written and deeply researched, it’s a tour de force.” — Ethan Kross, bestselling author of Shift and Chatter
“Distancing promises an approach that transforms the navigation of both professional challenges and personal dilemmas. Learning to gain distance from yourself is the ultimate cognitive hack: the ability to outsmart your own biases and make decisions that truly align with your long-term goals. These psychological techniques aren’t just theoretical—they’re a radical tool for personal reinvention.” — Annie Duke, bestselling author of Thinking in Bets and Quit
“How might stepping outside the 'here and now' help us thrive—in work and in life? Distancing is as engaging as it is practical: a must-read for anyone who wants to make a difference but is tired of being told to simply 'stay present.' Gillespie and Marquet unpack the science and offer concrete, actionable tools to help us use psychological distance to become better, wiser versions of ourselves. — Hal Hershfield, bestselling author of Your Future Self
“Distancing makes so much sense—it should be required reading for earthlings. The stories are page-turners, the science is dazzling, and the advice comes in plain English. Want to level up your life by making smarter decisions? Start with this book.” — Lynn Sherr, ABC News correspondent and bestselling author
“The best leaders don’t just react—they step back, gain perspective, and make better decisions. Distancing unlocks that hidden ability in all of us. If you want to make better decisions, you need to read this book.” — Verne Harnish, founder of Entrepreneurs’ Organization and author of Start to Scale
“Just because you are promoted to captain with four golden stripes doesn’t mean you know it all. Distancing gives you the ability to clearly see your mistakes, allowing for the opportunity to improve your plan and strategy for next time. Distancing has given me a lot of insights; it is a great read for anyone in a leadership role.” — Hans Hederström, former managing director of CSMART
“Why do bridge teams equipped with the necessary information still make bad decisions? This book answers that question and tells us what we can do about it— for ourselves and for our teams.” — John A. Konrad V., founder of gCaptain
