The Two Gentlemen of Verona ¥ I.1 [Enter] Valentine, [and] Proteus.
valentine
Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus;
Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
2
Were't not affection chains thy tender days
3
To the sweet glances of thy honored love,
I rather would entreat thy company
To see the wonders of the world abroad
Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
7
Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
8
But since thou lov'st, love still, and thrive therein,
9
Even as I would when I to love begin.
10
proteus
Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu.
Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
12
Some rare noteworthy object in thy travel.
Wish me partaker in thy happiness
When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
15
If ever danger do environ thee,
16
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
17
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
18
valentine
And on a love book pray for my success?
19
proteus
Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.
20
valentine
That's on some shallow story of deep love,
How young Leander crossed the Hellespont.
22
proteus
That's a deep story of a deeper love,
For he was more than over shoes in love.
24
valentine
'Tis true, for you are over boots in love,
And yet you never swum the Hellespont.
proteus
Over the boots? Nay, give me not the boots.
27
valentine
No, I will not, for it boots thee not.
28
proteus What?
valentine
To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans,
Coy looks with heartsore sighs, one fading moment's mirth
30
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights.
31
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
32
If lost, why then a grievous labor won;
However, but a folly bought with wit,
34
Or else a wit by folly vanquishd.
proteus
So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
36
valentine
So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.
37
proteus
'Tis Love you cavil at; I am not Love.
valentine
Love is your master, for he masters you;
And he that is so yokd by a fool
40
Methinks should not be chronicled for wise.
proteus
Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
The eating canker dwells, so eating love
43
Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
valentine
And writers say, as the most forward bud
45
Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
46
Even so by love the young and tender wit
Is turned to folly, blasting in the bud,
48
Losing his verdure even in the prime,
49
And all the fair effects of future hopes.
50
But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee
That art a votary to fond desire?
52
Once more, adieu. My father at the road
53
Expects my coming, there to see me shipped.
54
proteus
And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
valentine
Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
Of thy success in love, and what news else
58
Betideth here in absence of thy friend,
And I likewise will visit thee with mine.
60
proteus
All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
61
valentine
As much to you at home! And so farewell.Exit.
proteus
He after honor hunts, I after love.
He leaves his friends to dignify them more;
64
I leave myself, my friends, and all for love.
65
Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
66
Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
67
War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
68
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
69
[Enter] Speed.
speed Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
70
proteus But now he parted hence to embark for Milan.
speed
Twenty to one then, he is shipped already,
And I have played the sheep in losing him.
73
proteus
Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,
And if the shepherd be awhile away.
75
speed You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep?
proteus I do.
speed Why then my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
79
80
proteus A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.
speed This proves me still a sheep.
proteus True, and thy master a shepherd.
speed Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
84
proteus It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.
85
speed The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me. Therefore I am no sheep.
proteus The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the shepherd for food follows not the sheep. Thou for wages followest thy master; thy master for wages follows not thee. Therefore thou art a sheep.
90
speed Such another proof will make me cry "baa."
proteus But dost thou hear? Gav'st thou my letter to Julia?
speed Ay, sir. I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labor.
96
97
proteus Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.
99
100
speed If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
101
proteus Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you.
103
speed Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter.
proteus You mistake; I mean the pound-a pinfold.
107
speed
From a pound to a pin? Fold it over and over,
108
'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover.
proteus But what said she?
110
speed [Nodding] Ay.
proteus Nod, "ay"? Why, that's noddy.
112
speed You mistook, sir. I say she did nod, and you ask me if she did nod, and I say "Ay."
proteus And that set together is "noddy."
speed Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains.
proteus No, no. You shall have it for bearing the letter.
speed Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.
119
proteus Why, sir, how do you bear with me?
120
speed Marry, sir, the letter very orderly, having nothing but the word "noddy" for my pains.
121
proteus Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.
123
speed And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
proteus Come, come, open the matter in brief. What said she?
125
speed Open your purse, that the money and the matter may be both at once delivered.
proteus [Giving him money] Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she?
130
speed Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
131
proteus Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her?
speed Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her: no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter. And being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your mind. Give her no token but stones, for she's as hard as steel.
134
135
136
137
proteus What, said she nothing?
speed No, not so much as "Take this for thy pains." To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself. And so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.
140
proteus
Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wrack,
143
Which cannot perish having thee aboard,
Being destined to a drier death on shore.[Exit Speed.]
145
I must go send some better messenger.
I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
147
Receiving them from such a worthless post.Exit.
148
*
¥ I.2 Enter Julia and Lucetta.
julia
But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
lucetta
Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
3
julia
Of all the fair resort of gentlemen
4
That every day with parle encounter me,
5
In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
lucetta
Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind
According to my shallow simple skill.
julia
What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
9
lucetta
As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
10
But were I you, he never should be mine.
julia
What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
12
lucetta
Well of his wealth, but of himself, so-so.
julia
What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
lucetta
Lord, Lord, to see what folly reigns in us!
julia
How now? What means this passion at his name?
16
lucetta
Pardon, dear madam, 'tis a passing shame
17
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
19
julia
Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
20
lucetta
Then thus: of many good I think him best.
julia
Your reason?
lucetta
I have no other but a woman's reason:
I think him so because I think him so.
julia
And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?
lucetta
Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
julia
Why, he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
27
lucetta
Yet he, of all the rest, I think best loves ye.
julia
His little speaking shows his love but small.
lucetta
Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.
30
julia
They do not love that do not show their love.
lucetta
O, they love least that let men know their love.
julia
I would I knew his mind.
lucetta
Peruse this paper, madam.
[Gives a letter.]
julia
"To Julia"-say from whom.
lucetta
That the contents will show.
julia
Say, say. Who gave it thee?
lucetta
Sir Valentine's page, and sent, I think, from Proteus.
He would have given it you, but I, being in the way,
39
Did in your name receive it. Pardon the fault, I pray.
40
julia
Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!
41
Dare you presume to harbor wanton lines,
To whisper and conspire against my youth?
Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth,
And you an officer fit for the place.
There, take the paper. See it be returned,
Or else return no more into my sight.
lucetta
To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
48
julia
Will ye be gone?
49
lucetta That you may ruminate.Exit.
julia
And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter.
50
It were a shame to call her back again
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
52
What fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
And would not force the letter to my view!
Since maids, in modesty, say "no" to that
Which they would have the profferer construe "ay."
56
Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse
And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
59
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
60
When willingly I would have had her here!
How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
62
When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
My penance is to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.
What ho, Lucetta!
[Enter Lucetta.]
lucetta What would your ladyship?
julia
Is't near dinnertime?
lucetta I would it were,
That you might kill your stomach on your meat,
68
And not upon your maid.
julia
What is't that you took up so gingerly?
70
lucetta
Nothing.
julia
Why didst thou stoop then?
lucetta
To take a paper up that I let fall.
julia
And is that paper nothing?
lucetta
Nothing concerning me.
julia
Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
lucetta
Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,
77
Unless it have a false interpreter.
julia
Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
lucetta
That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
80
Give me a note; your ladyship can set-
81
julia
As little by such toys as may be possible.
82
Best sing it to the tune of "Light o' Love."
83
lucetta
It is too heavy for so light a tune.
84
julia
Heavy? Belike it hath some burden then?
85
lucetta
Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
julia
And why not you?
87
lucetta I cannot reach so high.
julia
Let's see your song. [Takes the letter.] How now, minion?
88
lucetta
Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out.
89
And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
90
julia
You do not?
lucetta
No, madam; 'tis too sharp.
92
julia
You, minion, are too saucy.
lucetta
Nay, now you are too flat,
94
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant.
95
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
96
julia
The mean is drowned with your unruly bass.
97
lucetta
Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
98
julia
This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil with protestation!
100
[Tears the letter and throws it down.]
Go, get you gone, and let the papers lie-
You would be fing'ring them to anger me.
lucetta
She makes it strange, but she would be best pleased
103
To be so angered with another letter.[Exit.]
julia
Nay, would I were so angered with the same!
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey,
107
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
109
Look, here is writ "kind Julia." Unkind Julia!
110
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
111
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ "love-wounded Proteus."
Poor wounded name! My bosom as a bed
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly healed,
116
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
117
But twice or thrice was "Proteus" written down-
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter,
120
Except mine own name; that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged, fearful-hanging rock,
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
"Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia." That I'll tear away-
126
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
127
He couples it to his complaining names.
128
Thus will I fold them one upon another-
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
130
[Enter Lucetta.]
lucetta
Madam, dinner is ready, and your father stays.
131
julia
Well, let us go.
lucetta
What, shall these papers lie like telltales here?
julia
If you respect them, best to take them up.
134
lucetta
Nay, I was taken up for laying them down.
135
Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
Copyright © 2018 by William Shakespeare. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
